Have you ever felt unworthy?
Unworthy to be loved?
Unworthy to be happy?
Unworthy to just be yourself?
This belief can really hold you back from doing what it takes to achieve your goals and dreams.
Feeling unworthy can be a major underlying factor in why you have created and continue to hold onto your fat suit.
You might feel that you are unworthy of being loved.
In order to avoid having to put yourself out there and be rejected, you choose instead to hide away. This way you don’t have to worry about any of it. People reject you because of they way you look, not because of who you are, or what you think. I mean come on now, who takes a fat person seriously?
You could feel unworthy of being attractive.
Somewhere in your life you may have been treated a certain way because you were either attractive or unattractive.
When we were going through this exercise as a group, one lady recalled how she developed a belief about being unworthy to look a certain way because her jealous step-mother was exceedingly mean to her due to the fact that she closely resembled her mother. This lady associated looking thin and beautiful with feelings of resentment and ridicule. It affected her belief in her ability to feel worthy and to be accepted for who she was. She felt that if she made herself unattractive by putting on weight then she would be accepted and loved. It is amazing how much our childhood can determine our adults lives.
Perhaps you feel that you are not worthy to be treated well.
We will often put other’s needs before our own, to the extent that we take on the burden of being responsible for their moods, behaviors and health while putting our own needs on the back burner.
Women and mothers especially fall into this trap because It feels selfish to take care of yourself before others needs have been met. It could come from being taught when younger that a ‘me first’ attitude was an ungrateful way of behaving, or it could be totally unconscious thoughts that make us feel guilty for even thinking to put ourselves first. Because of this, we often don’t treat ourselves with the gentleness, kindness, care and consideration we deserve.
Have you been repeatedly put down to the point where you don’t feel like you deserve to be treated well? Putting you down becomes an easy way for some people to make themselves feel better.
You may have been bullied at school because other people were jealous of the attention you got, or because you did not stand up for yourself when you got picked on. They may start bullying you every time they see you just because you remind them of their own insecurities or because that was how they were raised and don’t know a different way to act.
We may have been treated badly in the past and told repeatedly that we were worthless or not good enough until there came a point where on a subconscious level we internalized it – took it on as our own. Now, we don’t feel like we are worthy of anything including taking care of ourselves and enjoy the ability to feel good in our own skin.
Wherever the ‘not worthy’ feelings have come from, the end result proves that by holding onto the weight and/or negative attitudes, we show that we have given up trying do anything to take care of ourselves or our health.
Let me tell you right now.
YOU ARE MORE THAT GOOD ENOUGH!
You are an amazing person who deserves to be treated with love and respect – especially from yourself.
Believe that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. If you can’t believe in yourself just yet, let me believe in you until you can move past this and take your rightful place as a person of value in this world!!!
3 Ways To Boost Your Self Worth
It may sound strange, but just by looking yourself in the eye, smiling and saying nice things to yourself you can make a big difference in how you feel.
I have had to think back to when everything changed for me and I actually started to do what it took to get to where I am now. What was the turning point? It was when I started live broadcasting.
For those of you that have not gone LIVE yet, you basically spend the entire time looking at yourself on your phone. So I spent hours and hours talking as I looked at myself. It was then that I realized if I was going to have to be looking at myself then I wanted to like what I saw.
See before that, I could hide. I looked in the mirror long enough to see that my hair was done and I didn’t have anything in my teeth. Pictures of me were seen once or twice in disgust and then hidden from the world. When I had to sit and look at myself, sometimes for hours on end, there came a time where I learned to accept myself – faults and all.
As I continued to broadcast live, I was able to share my knowledge with folks and they actually enjoyed watching me. As time went on I continued to get better at it. I looked different and I found my smile again. All from having to face myself in a reflection.
When was the last time you looked in the mirror and said something kind to yourself?
When was the last time you stepped back from judging yourself to see just how amazing you are?
We spend so much of our lives working towards being better that sometimes we forget you how much we have already accomplished. Instead, we are busy planning the next goal, the next target, the next new thing that will help us to feel good enough.
You have to accept yourself right now in order for the rest of this stuff to mean anything. Right here, right now is where it is at.
Some people think that if you become happy and accept where you are right now that you will not do anything to change, that you will become too comfortable and not try any harder.
While this may happen occasionally, ask yourself these questions to keep checking in:
Are you in the best shape you could be in?
Are you sure you are treating yourself in the best way possible?
You see, accepting yourself as you are at this moment doesn’t mean you become content and stay where you are. Accepting yourself as you are now allows you to find self love and respect to THEN do what it takes to do what is best for your health.
How on earth can we expect to makes changes for the better when we spend everyday hating ourselves?
Having self hate and self loathing quite often brings up these awful feelings we tend to soothe with food.
So no, accepting where you are now, and doing what is necessary to treat your body and soul with respect will not make you stay in the same place, it will give you the boost you need to show that you don’t need anybody else to care of you you are capable. You will continue feel stronger and increasingly empowered the more you are able to take complete control of your life.
Sit down and write out 100 things you have achieved in your life.
They can be anything from graduating from school, getting a job or simply doing a good deed. Not matter how little it may seem, write it down. You will soon see that you are worthy to be loved and accepted. You have already proven it, now you just have to believe it.
We are our own worst critics. I mean if anyone else on earth spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves then we would have cut them out of our lives long ago.
You may never see how you have influenced other people. How your words, actions and your story has helped them. What you see as nothing special, someone else sees as inspirational.
Want to know what they see in you?
Ask someone you trust what they think is special about you.
Then just listen.
Don’t try to explain it all away or tell them they are wrong, or take less credit than what is due.
We often have this way of hearing nice things about ourselves and then minimizing them.
DON’T DO THAT!
Just listen and learn to take compliments. And then learn to say thank you. That’s it – nothing more. Just a simple thank you will tell people that you appreciate their input.
You may never fully understand what they see in you or how you, just being you, helps them, but you don’t have to. You just need to accept the fact that is does and find the place inside you that tells you that you are special.
It can take work to go from a lifetime of feeling unworthy to feeling like you are enough. We have doubts and fears that are designed to keep us safe but quite often they limit us.
It starts by being kind to yourself and learning to feel worthy. Day by day in every way you will get better and better.
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